My Journey to The Illusion of a Girl
I wanted to share a little bit of my journey here as hopefully it may help some of you have a greater understanding of your spiritual path.
In my late 30's, I started having this nagging feeling I was supposed to be doing something, but I wasn't doing it. I felt I was to help other people, but I didn't know in what way. This nagging feeling was fairly persistent, but I was raising 3 young children at the time. With bigger fish to fry, I pushed it to the back of my mind.
In 2014, I was laid off from my job and at a crossroad. I've always felt connected to God and I'm intuitive. I also understood God, my angels & spirit guides, gave me signs, information and helped me. So when I lost my job, I prayed to God to tell me my purpose. God, He, She, It whatever works for you, answered in a noticeable fashion.
I had an idea about writing a book based on my own childhood, and I suspected it may have something to do with my purpose.
Over a few days, Spirit answered me by showing me one of my main book characters names on a license plate "LENA" which I had never seen something like that before on a white, non-descriptive van. My daughters also begged me to watch a movie with them where the main character was a girl named Lena. And there was a third sign, that I can't remember right now. When I do remember it, I'll update this post : )
When I received these signs, I was like Wow, my question was answered. God actively talked to me. Needless to say, I was blown away and excited. My journey of writing the book began! Consistent with my personality, I was impatient for my dream of being a published author to come to fruition.
Five years later, I realize that I'm just now in the home stretch of having my book published. Believe me when I say, I only wrote my book because I felt deeply that I had a story to tell. A story that would help other kids who grew up in a dysfunctional home. I wanted to show them a way out. That there was a way out.
I had a ton to learn over the last five years, countless edits of my book and in general, emotionally maturing. I've had several positive signs and interest in my manuscript while on this journey that kept me going. I'm also stubborn as hell and when I want something, I will work toward it like no other.
When spirit answered my question, I hurried and wrote the book, (I also ate gummi bears compulsively while writing it and gained ten pounds) believing my dreams would come true in short order. Only now can I see I wasn't ready and only now do I believe I'm close to being ready. We'll see : )