A Star Is Born* - Wow, spoiler alert, if you haven't watched this movie, stop now as I'm going to talk about it and give some details away.
I'm a little late in getting out to see this movie, but I'm so glad I did. The singing was beautiful and touching. As you may know, my father was an alcoholic, but not like the mostly sweet alcoholic, Jackson Maine, that Bradley Cooper portrayed. What resonated with me the most about Jack was his vulnerability, and evident lack of self-love. When you drink or do drugs heavily, you're drowning every emotion you may have, you're looking to block out the world and your place in it. And as you age, the disease progresses, which I thought the movie accurately showed.
My impression of many alcoholics or addicts is they're not comfortable in their own skin, they don't love themselves and they care too much about what other people think of them. That description could apply to many people, not just alcoholics, but alcoholics/addicts seem to suffer with those feelings more.
Based on the movie, Jackson was the son of a drunk and cycle continued, which sadly happens too often. It's exactly why I write this blog! I want the cycle to stop. I want kids to have parents who love them, who are emotionally present for them and who provide a functioning family. An important step to breaking this cycle is to learn to love yourself. Take a look at some of my other blogs on how to learn to do this. It's something I work on daily and it's effective.
Just for fun, here's a link to the traits which make up a functioning family^. Check it out.
I don't know all the answers, but I care enough about other people that I want the cycle of addiction and all the bullshit that occurs in families to stop. The only way I can help is to communicate what I went through, how it affected me and how I'm recovering.